Holiday Policy Language: Halloween Edition

Can I be honest for a minute? I’m not a Halloween fan. It makes my list of favorite holidays right after Columbus Day and before Black Friday. No, I’m not planning on giving you my top ten holiday list (although that might make for an interesting post some other time). On the other hand, since it shows up this week, now’s a good time for another installment of holiday policy language: Halloween edition.

Added to the definitions section of the HO-3, Homeowners’ Special Form are the following definitions:

“Halloween” means the holiday generally celebrated on October 31 and any related celebration, party, masquerade, trick or treat time or other related observance.

“Trick” means any act, action, activity, or operation meant to cause aggravation, irritation, anger, rage, or constipation taken on “Halloween”, or during any celebration, party, masquerade, or other observance related to “Halloween”.

“Yard Decorations” include any signs, fake (or real) tombstones, “Halloween” themed items hanging in trees, on porches, or anywhere else on the “residence premises”. “Yard decorations” also includes any inflatable item that needs to be inflated once or that requires a source of constant air pressure to remain inflated and any seasonal lights used with the “yard decorations.”

“Yucky Candy” means any candy that no one really likes and that they take just to be polite; including any candy that might result in a “trick”. “Yucky candy” includes, but is not limited to: root beer barrels, those sticky strawberry things, unbranded peanut butter cups, licorice (not Twizzlers), anything homemade (because everybody knows that you shouldn’t ever accept homemade candy these days), and Frosty coupons from Wendy’s. Cash is never included as “yucky candy.”

The following exclusions apply to coverages A (Dwelling and B (Other Structures).

Damage to covered property if it is related to giving out “yucky candy.” This exclusion applies to any covered property as defined under coverage A or coverage B as well as “yard decorations.”

Damage to covered property related to “tricks”, especially if the “trick” is caused in any way by giving out “yucky candy.”

Damage to “yard decorations” that are designed to pop up, surprise, shock, or scare any person that approaches them. If those “yard decorations” work as designed and pop up to the surprise, shock, or scaring of any person and that person reacts by damaging that “yard decoration,” including picking it up, throwing it, punching it, or kicking it, that damage is excluded. However, if that damage results in a fire, that fire is covered.

However, damage to covered property, caused by “tricks” is covered if all insureds avoid the celebration of “Halloween”. We reserve the right to seek repayment of damages from any and all parties found liable for damages related to “tricks” if all insureds avoid the celebration of “Halloween.” Avoiding “Halloween” includes leaving home, leaving the lights off, or otherwise declining to participate during any neighborhood, town, or city observance of “Halloween”

The following exclusions apply to coverages E (Personal Liability) and F (Medical Payments).

Certain “bodily injury” or “property damage” related to “tricks” on the “residence premises.”

  1. If any insured takes an active part in any “trick,” and sustains “bodily injury” as a result of the “trick,” that “bodily injury” is excluded. This exclusion applies because you deserve any “bodily injury” related to scaring little kids.
  2. If any insured takes an active part in any “trick,” and “yard decorations” are damaged as a result of the “trick,” damage to those “yard decorations” is excluded. This exclusion is not limited to damage that occurs during the “trick” or immediately after. It also includes damage that may occur later that night, extending until 12:01 AM the next Monday. This exclusion applies because you deserve it for scaring little kids.

Remember my special holiday related policy language is meant to be humorous. It made me laugh to write it and I hope it made you laugh a little. None of this holiday policy language is real, nor has it been written by any insurance company or advisory organization. It is not been filed in any state, with the exception of the state of ridiculous, which I am a permanent resident.


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